Bye Bye Facey!

I just deleted my personal Facebook account.
Why did I do this?
I was sick of getting on so much and having access to everything that was happening in the world of every second of my every day. That's all.

I've decided to do a "Facey Fast" and not use my person Facebook account for 1 week. (I am still online and will be posting from my Brielle Photography and Design Facey.) My hopes are that after a week I will see that when I have a second of down time I don't need to jump online to check the news feed or post a status that is completely irrelevant to my progression in life. I know that I will be back in the online social network world once the week is over and I'm not planning to delete Facebook from my life forever, but hopefully this week will teach me a lot and I will be able to go back to the days before Facey came long. The days when I read a book when I had 5 minutes of free time or I lied to down to relax instead of stare at a screen, or even when I made an actual phone call to see how someone was doing instead of reading online that they got a new job or are celebrating a birthday. (Crazy right? ;))

I'm not trying to say that Facebook is bad - I really do love it and am glad that we have this social network to stay in touch and keep up to date with people and events in our lives. All I'm needing is a break. A nice week long break to rejuvenate. Ahhh....I'm excited.

So here's to a week without Facey! CHEERS!

I'm not sure why I never shared this adorable picture of my puppy girl Roxi. ♥ Poor thing has to endure the occasional nail painting and dress ups she gets from her sisters and mama. haha At least she doesn't look like she's hating it too bad in this picture right? ;) What a cutie!

Midnight Movie

Last night I went to the midnight premiere of The Vow where I laughed, cried, hoped, and fell in love. I am a total romantic movie sappy cheesy love story kind of girl just as long as it ends happily. Nicholas Sparks always challenges my patience in this, but nonetheless I always enjoy his books/films. If you are planning on seeing The Vow this weekend, bring some tissues and if you don't plan on seeing it you should probably reconsider! :) 

One of my favorite things in this movie are the powerful quotes and words of wisdom. I wrote a few down to share and remember.

"Life's all about moments of impact and how they change our lives forever."

"I promise to never forget that this is a once in a lifetime love."

"Let's figure this out together."

"I vow to love you and no matter what challenges might carry us apart, we will always find a way back to each other."

"I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness and to have the patience that love demands. To speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they’re not, and to live within the warmth of your heart — and always call it home."

♥

Late night thoughts...

Tonight I got a late night bug where I felt like before I climbed into bed I needed to do as much as I could on my to-do list. Ever get like that? It happens to me a couple times a week and I feel like I am more productive from the hours of 11pm-1am than I am at any other time. Someone once told me it was the creative mind in me and that many artists find themselves doing the same thing. Whatever it may be, I am grateful for it because it gives me a time to think without the distractions of the world. My mind is clear and I can focus on the present matters or let my mind drift into the future and dream of my ultimate desires and aspirations. 

Tonight was a dreaming night.

I spent the last few hours talking with a friend about the meaning of different things in life and it really got me entranced in a deeper thought -one I haven't been to in awhile, but felt good to dig deep into my mind and bring those thoughts to the surface. I think these times of pondering help us take a step in and realize what we believe and live for. It is in these moments that the more sensitive side of me is revealed and the following creed is full of meaning, hope, and joy to my soul. I really soak it in.

Promise Yourself

To be strong that nothing can disturb

your peace of mind. To talk health,

happiness and prosperity to every

person you meet. To make all your

friends feel that there is something wonderful in

them. To look at the sunny side of everything

and make your optimism

come true.

To think only of the best, to work

only for the best, and expect only

the best. to be just as enthusiastic about the success of

others as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press

on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times

and give every living creature you meet a 

smile. To give so much time to the 

improvements of yourself that you have no

time to criticize others. To be too large for

worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,

and too happy to permit the

presence of trouble.

-Author Unknown

Promise yourself to let your mind drift away every now and take time to ponder.

abc {2011} wrap-up

For a 2011 wrap-up I thought I'd do a little ABC in the life of Bee-Ritt. Here we go!

{A.} Age: twenty.one

 {B.} Best memory of this year: Oh there were lots! I'd have to say my vacations were the most fun! I went to Arizona for MLB Spring Training, Disneyland with my family, lots of St. George trips, and my most recent vacay to Denver for the Bronco's game!

 {C.} Chore you dislike: I really hate doing the dishes. I'm hoping that my future husband won't mind doing them if I'm cooking the meals. ;) But for reals.

{D.} Dogs: I ♥ dogs. :) Especially my puppy Roxanne!

 {E.} Essential start to your day: I am totally a morning person and love getting up a half hour early to do whatever I can on my to-do list! I also love starting out each morning with a water bottle at about 8:00am.Why 8:00am? Who knows?

{F.} Favorite colors: Anything pink usually wins me over. Just check out my room.

 {G.} Greatest accomplishment: Being awarded Miner of the Year 2009 at my high school and starting Brielle Photography and Design!

{H.} Habits: Reading before I fall asleep, eating 2 gummy vites every night in bed, snapping my fingers while running up stairs (I don't know why I do this, but it drives me crazy!!).

{I.} Influential People: My parents, Oprah Winfrey, Stephanie Nielsen, Elizabeth Kartchner, Gordon B. Hinckley, Marjorie Hinckley.

 {J.} Job Aspirations: Ahhhh....I have so many ideas! Maybe open my own boutique, continue my photography and design business, be a school teacher, start my own preschool, own some type of business/store/bakery, goodness who knows! So many ideas and not sure which one I want to go for!

{K.} Kids:I cannot even wait to have kids. SOOOO excited! I've recently decided on 4 of their names...ready to hear them?! 
1st boy: Dallas 
2nd boy: Austin
1st girl: Mersadi 
2nd girl: Brielle ♥ 

{L.} Little things that make me happy: Helping people in need, getting/giving thoughtful gifts, sunsets, flowers, when someone says "Good morning" as you pass by them.

 {M}. Middle Name: Nicole

{N.} Nicknames: Britt, Bee-Ritt, Brizzle, Bee, Brittster, Turbo, B4, Burpee, Shawty. (haha jk about the last one, but I'm pretty sure everyone's someone's Shawty at one point or another.)

{O.} Oh, the Places I've Been!: Washington, Oregon, California, Canada, Idaho, Nevada, Arizona, Wyoming, and Colorado. Pretty much have hit up the Western U.S.

{P.} Pet peeves: I've never had a pet named Peeve. ;)

{Q.} Quote: "Embrace yourself as you are. Celebrate yourself as you long to be!"

 {R.} Righty or lefty: Righty baby. Story time: When I was little I would always do things with my left hand and my dad forced me to be right handed because he doesn't like being a lefty. I'm pretty sure I was mean to be left handed though...

{S.} Six words to describe me: Determined, optimistic, strong-willed, happy, creative, adventurous. 

 {T.} Time you wake up: 6:30am for escuela or 8:30am on the weekends.

{U.} Underwear: Here's a little unknown secret about me --I love matching my underwear to my outfits! :) I also hate thongs. Ew gross nasty. Constant wedgie.

{V.} Vegetables you don’t like: Peas and cooked carrots

{W}. What makes you run late: Other people!! I am a psycho about being on time (aka 5-10 minutes early) to everything and I find myself only late if I'm going with other people.

{X.} X-rays you’ve had: On my foot after an intense church-ball injury. Boom baby.

{Y.} Yummy food you make:  Mama A's chex mix, s'mores cookies, rolo cookies, and banana bread.

 {Z.} Zealous Goals:  Visit every state in the U.S., create an inspirational book, be on the Oprah Winfrey Network, and visit Times Square!

And that's a 2011 wrap people! Now it's time to think of my 2012 resolutions, goals and dreams. 
I love this time of year where I am able to reflect, learn, and aspire!
Until next time.
XOXO.

Stronger...

Astra,

I'm not sure why this has been so hard on me. I know that we were best friends when we were little, but we didn't stay close after middle school so why do I feel like a small part of me is missing now that you're gone? Everything I do, you somehow fit into it. Like tonight when I was looking through my memory box (which you inspired me to do) I found this super cute and funny picture of all us girls.

I remember how excited we were to go to the mall in our tech vests from Old Navy and get a picture on Santa's lap! We planned it perfectly for us to all wear white shirts underneath, meet at my house, and drive over to South Towne. I remember us all giggling wondering if everyone would think we were cool or if they would think we were babies for sitting on Santa's lap. haha Oh the good times!

Or like every time I call my sister "Maestra" I think of you because it sounds like your name.

Or like every time I walk in my room and see your funeral program on my desk.

Or like every time I get on Facebook I check you wall to see what people are saying. Today I got scared thinking that maybe someday your Facebook might be gone. I don't want that to happen. A few nights ago I went through all of your pictures on there...every single one. I laughed and I cried. And I was slightly jealous looking at all of your fun memories. ;

The past week you have inspired me to live with more tenacity. I want to be able to have the same enthusiasm for going out and having fun as you do. I want to be able to take pictures with my friends and document our fun adventures together. I want to live it up as much as I can because we never know when our time will come. But I most of all want to love those around me because I am ridiculously scared that someday my best friend will be called up to God like you were last Saturday and I have no idea how I would ever carry on. I think about your family and Sammie on a daily basis and wish so badly that there was something I could do to alleviate the pain they are feeling. I guess that's why we have a Savior though right? He has suffered every pain that we ever have or will have and HE KNOWS US. I hope that your family and friends are relying on the Savior for comfort during these times.

Today I had a long talk with my dad about post mortal life and what we do there. I kept thinking about you and wondering where you are right now. I am secretly quite envious that you are experiencing such beauty and are back home. My dad said something cool that I bet you are experiencing right now. He said that when people die from this Earth they are much more familiar with their surroundings in Heaven than they are when they think of their lives here on Earth because heaven is OUR HOME. It is where we have lived for ions of time and then we are sent here on this unfamiliar planet to live our mortal lives; when we die and go to heaven we are back home and it feels right. So Astra, when I die and come back home will you welcome me back to our home in heaven? Preferably with a cozy fireplace, my family, and a delicious Bath and Body Works candle burning okay? ;) Because to me, those things are home.

I cannot sleep without dreaming about you or Cystic Fibrosis and I'm not sure why. In one of my dreams you were talking to me and you told me that you really didn't die. I woke up and I could not get a hold of my thoughts from the night before simply because they didn't make sense. I was confused about what you said, but the coolest part of the dream was your countenance. You were so different towards me and I felt like we were good friends again. It was an amazing feeling and gave me a small glimpse of how I want to remember you. I know that we definitely had our rough times in 5th and 8th grade and I sometimes get caught up in those feelings, but Astra you have taught me a lot about living life to the fullest and I can never deny that. I am so grateful to know you and have your tenacious example to follow. You have helped me look at my life this past week and evaluate where I am setting my priorities. Thank you.

And as I think about your family and close friends, I can't help but sing the lyrics to "Stronger" by Sara Evans.

Woke up late today and I still feel the sting of the pain
But I brushed my teeth anyway
I got dressed through the mess and put a smile on my face
I got a little bit stronger

Riding in the car to work and I'm trying to ignore the hurt
So I turned on the radio, stupid song made me think of you
I listened to it for minute but I changed it
I'm getting a little bit stronger, just a little bit stronger

I know my heart will never be the same
But I'm telling myself I'll be okay
Even on my weakest days
I get a little bit stronger

Every time I pray I think of them and ask Heavenly Father to please help them through this. I hope they are accepting His help and praying for it as well. 

Well Astra, I hope you can read this because it is what I need to say right now. Your best friend Sammie inspired me to write you a letter because I felt like her letter to you that she read at your funeral was therapeutic. There were a lot of similarities between your relationship with Sammie and our relationship when we were best friends so it made me cry....hard. But it also made me laugh because you have a way of doing that, doy!

That's all for now. Have a good night baby Stra. I hope you are looking over your family right now. They need you. Goodnight. :)

Thoughts

I have had a lot on my mind this past week and have been slackinnnnn on the bloggy blog. For a little insight into my life, you can check out {Project 365} because I just updated it with the past 3 weeks. Sorry that the pictures are ginormous and I didn't fix the margins to make it not look ghetto. 

Happy Sunday && please listen to this song by JB. I have listened to it prob about 18 times today. Enjoi.

Live, Love, Breathe

 This past weekend one of my elementary school best friends took her last breath. Astra Lauren Waller passed away the day before my 21st birthday on October 22, 2011 from a hole in her lung. Astra fought against Cystic Fibrosis for her whole life here on this earth and we are now all at peace as she is able to breathe easier. Although we always lived in wonder when Astra's battle would end, we did not think it would end so unexpectedly and suddenly. Last night as I was talking to my mom and saying that I couldn't believe that we had no warning, she made a good point when she told me that maybe this was the best way for Astra to go. Although we did not get to say goodbye, she did not have to endure the sick weeks leading up to what we believed would be a slower process of her passing onto the other side. 

The past five days have been ones of heartache, fear, sadness, tears, hope, and faith. I learned so many valuable lessons from her funeral that I am going to reflect on tonight and will post later. As for now, here are some of my memories with little baby Stra.

 Best Friends!

 

Sleepovers at Astra's house were held weekly! We have so many fun memories goofing off, making videos, dancing, playing Donkey Kong,  eating Starbursts and EasyMac, and of course playing the SIMS!!! :)

It didn't matter that I was almost 2 feet taller than her at this age. :) Baby Stra!

I am so blessed to have known all of you girls in this picture and it is even better knowing that I still consider each and every single one of you to be my friends. So glad I got to see you all today.

I love how this picture shows all of our personalities!!

Dress ups and sleepovers!!

 I can't help but think of all the amazing things you are experiencing right now in heaven. Astra, thank you for teaching me how to get the most out of life and most of all for helping me realize that it is 100% okay to take a million pictures and post them on Facebook. :) I will miss seeing all of your adventures with you friends and family. Keep on living it to your fullest up there okay? I will miss you little Astra.

"Each of us has a spark of life inside us, our highest endeavor ought to be to set off that spark in one another." -Kenny Ausubel