{Pathways}

I have a lot on my mind tonight. First, BYU lost which makes me think of all the "what ifs". What if we would've come out stronger in overtime? What if Jimmer didn't have that ugly tape on his chin? What if Davies was still playing? Anyways that's all beside the point. I have much more important things on my mind.

I'm sitting here in a warm robe and a blanket cuddling with my puppy dog and the wheels are spinning with what I want to do with my life. Right now I am in the elementary education program at UVU and have 3 more semesters left. {Can I just say that college has flown by for me! Holy smokes!} This week I have been student teaching in a 6th grade class and first let me say that I have had SO much fun doing this! It's only been four days and I already am attached to some of the kids in the class! There is a "but" though. Although I have loved this experience I still don't feel like being a teacher is what I ultimately want to do. I find so much joy, satisfaction, inspiration and success with my brielle business and I want continue on this journey. Creating, designing, and inspiring is what I love to do most and that is what I see in my future. I know that I need to continue school because A. I love it. B. I'm almost done. and C. It will be a great career to have in my pocket for future times.

I feel like I want to start exploring my options with my brielle business now though. And now does not seem like the opportune time. I am so busy with school that I do not know if it would be smart for me to go full force with this business. The other part of me is so antsy and I want nothing more than to continue what I've started right this second. Brielle sparks me in a way that nothing else has before. It truly makes me so happy and when I get inspired there's no stopping what I set my mind to.

So now the question is what should I do?

Not to mention that I'm trying to figure out whether or not to stay in Provo this summer or move home? With that decision comes the other decision of where to work this summer? I've always had the blessing of working at the same company every summer for the past five years, but I am ready to try something new this summer. With this new adventure comes uncertainty, insecurity, and lots of wondering. I feel like I am at a crossroads right now and I need to figure out what path I am going to take.

This. Stuff. Is. Hard.

I am normally great at making decisions but these decisions are big. And intimidating. It all boils down to whether or not I want to commit to going full force with brielle photography and design. Okay that's a lie. I definitely do want to do that, but is it the smartest thing for me right now? I want to open my own etsy shop soooo badly but I am afraid that this is not the time to do that. Why am I so nervous to do this? I need to get my act together and just DO IT. (Thanks Nike for the slogan inspiration.)

Okay did I just make a decision? I'll just do it. See what happens. Shoot, this is it! No turning back. I have a good idea. Let' just sleep on it :) I'll be back with the decision later.

As for now I think I should take this advice: